i am not, but I know I AM

*just two photos from last summer*

I know, you are probably thinking, what kind of title is that? well, God has been showing me a lot about who He is this last month, and this is just something that has been on my heart of late... 

disclaimer: this is going against everything society and modern Christianity is pointing at. and I know that, this is taking a step out, and going against the flow. 


Everybody has a story. How's that for a classic cliche` statement? Lately, there is a big movement going on in the blogging/internet world about everybody having a story, and how we need to "create our story".  I'm going to do something extremely shocking right now,  so prepare yourselves. I disagree. I disagree with the fact that everybody has a story. I believe we have a chapter, a part of The Story. We as humans get so wrapped up in our story that we forget it isn't really ours. Our culture is constantly throwing ads, commercials, movies, and music at us. And it's all about making you feel good, it's all about you. We get so caught up in the "It's all about ME" attitude. Everything is about us. It's my dreams, my wants, my wishes, and heck, it's my life.  I disagree. 

A few weeks ago, I picked up the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan. (remember this post?) I have been wanting to read it ever since it came out, but I never got around to it. And I guess God had a plan for that because right before this He was really showing me somethings and this book fit right into His plan.  I read the entire book in less than an hour; it was so good. 

"Suppose you are an extra in an upcoming movie. You will probably scrutinize that one scene where hundreds of people are milling around, just waiting for that two-fifths of a second when you can see the back of your head. Maybe your mom and your closest friend get excited about that two-fifths of a second with you … maybe. But no one else will realize it is you. Even if you tell them, they won’t care..... Now let's think about the movie of Life. From start to finish, this movie is obviously about God. He is the main character. How is it possible that we live as though it is about us? Our scenes in the movie, our brief lives, fall somewhere between the time Jesus ascends into heaven (Acts) and when we will all worship God on His throne in heaven (Revelation). We have only our two-fifths-of-a-second-long scene to live. I don’t know about you, but I want my two-fifths of a second to be about my making much of God. The point of your life is to point to Him. Whatever you are doing, God wants to be glorified, because this whole thing is His. It is His movie, His world, His gift." (from Crazy Love, ch.2) 

That was my favorite part. You see, it isn't our story (or movie). We are just a chapter in His story, and our chapter is only so long. I was also listening to a sermon by Francis Chan and he mentioned a story about a girl who was preparing for a big speech she had coming up for a class. She prayed "God, I just want to to be there and show your Glory." As she continued preparing she felt God tell her "This is my party, remember? I'm the one who invited you. You should be thankful to have a part in it." We forget it's not our party. It is NOT about us. Recently the song "Steal My Show" by TobyMac hit Christian radio. When I first heard it, I knew there was something wrong about it; but I just couldn't put my finger on it. The music itself is catchy and fun, but it was the lyrics that caught my attention. 

"If you wanna steal my show, I'll sit back and watch you go.

 If you've got somethin' to say, go on and take it away.  -Steal My Show

Yes, TobyMac was talking about his concerts when he says "my show", but really? it shouldn't be "my" show in the first place. It's His party we are invited too, remember? God doesn't need us in His story, but He chose to use us. It was part of His plan. Last weekend, we went on a little road trip and I had time for some extra reading, so I started the book "i am not but I know I AM" by Louie Giglio  (Now, you know where the title came from! ;)) This book was just as impacting and convicting as Crazy Love was. But since the book is so good and I don't want to insert the entire thing in here, I'm going to paraphrase what the message of the book is about. so, humor me for a second...

Remember the story with Moses and the Burning Bush? When Moses asked God "Who shall I say sent me?" What was God's answer?  "I AM THAT I AM. Tell them, I AM sent you."  God was saying, I am everything. I am the beginning and the end, the first and the last, yesterday and tomorrow, now and forever. I AM. 
So, if God is I AM... than who am I?  i am not.  I am everything opposite of God. I am human. I make mistakes. I hurt people. I call myself a Christian, yet I don't act like Christ. I get so wrapped up in my story, my future, my drama, my dreams... that I forget it's not about me. i am not. This is not my story. It's HIS. 

so, this blog isn't about my story. It's about my chapter in  H I S  story. and yes there is going to be mistakes, regrets, and storms along the way, but I know who my Jesus is and I know what He has done. 
and I just wanna thank you for coming along for the ride...
xxx
i am not.