in which i remember why i photograph

Today I was going through some old photos, looking for a specific picture when I stumbled across these.

These have been some of my all time favorite pictures and if you've been around here long enough, you've probably seen at least one of them. Why? I'm not exactly sure. Before I thought that it was just because they captured the parts of summer I really love. The campfires, barbecues, picnics, wildflowers, delicious lighting, and happy bokeh.  But, looking deeper, I realized that these handful of photos hold something more, it's kinda like an emotional connection. 

Because I remember exactly what happened that weekend when I look at these.

I had just spent a fabulous three days with my best friend. (you can find the original post here) 

We went thrifting, wrote happy lists, and bought caramel frappes and matching eiffel tower necklaces. 

We discovered we had matching skirts. (and I think that goes on the record for the first time I've ever liked matching outfits.) 

We played this song on repeat, and sang it so much I'm positive everyone in a 20 mile radius was sick of it.  

We both woke up at 5am one morning and slept till 9:30am the next (completely unplanned and without alarms).  And the amount of times we said the word "happiness" was completely ridiculous.

And that photo with gray nailpolish and pink sparkles.... ^^ I remember exactly where we were when I painted them. We were sitting on her living room couch, watching A Walk To Remember and Clancy, and laughing hysterically over this quote from the latter.  

"You've need to leave."

"Why?"

"Because you're standing in a very dangerous spot."

"The sidewalk?"

"NO, next to me." 

(And she was the one that painted that nail, because I couldn't (and still can't) paint my left hand for the life of me.)

But I remember something else from that evening (aside from the ridiculously cute little guy eating Doritos). It was a Sunday evening, and maybe it was depression after a ridiculously happy weekend, but that day had been terrible. 

The sun had just finished setting behind the mountains leaving only a glow in the sky and the light from the campfire flickered across the faces. I was sitting on the outer edge of the campfire listening to the stories and laughter that echoed around the circle. I remembered finally giving up and letting the tears swell up in my eyes, because for the first time, I had been hit by the harsh reality that people change. And it hurts to watch the people who your thirteen year old mind thought would never change, become somebody you didn't even know.

When I look back at these, I feel the same thing. I remember exactly what it felt like, how much it hurt. 

Yes, I photograph to leave a legacy. Yes, I photograph to channel creative juices. 

But, I photograph because it wraps up a memory and keeps it safe, even though life keeps moving and things keep changing. 

Because it's important to remember who you were and how you lived and how He was the same all along. 

xx. -marcia